Well, I guess I'm back to internet life. I had a friend and his brother visit me for a few days and now that they are gone, im gonna have to find other venues to be entertained.....

I'm not sure what the situation is with qigong. I'm afraid if I say too much here I'm going to ruin any chances of us ever hanging out again. But at the same time, I dont want to be hanging out with him for the wrong reasons. We'll see what happens. As of now, im of the feeling that we want and value different things in life. I'm quite bummed about this, but I think i need my freedom and independence and individuality for a bit. Its going to be hard though, becuase i know that im going to get extremely lonely and go back into my never talking to anyone phase.

I also am finding myself quite angry at him. I'm not sure if my feeling are rational, but i feel them nonetheless, and im not sure if denying them and pretending like i feel differently would be wise. I suppose im angry becuase i feel like he doesnt try to understand me or the situations we are in and just tries to come up with cheap fixes so we can feel like we are happy all the time, and i guess i want to at least feel like we have something deeper and more special and intimite than that.