I was walking back to my garage-appartment and i ran into my landlord lady. turns out she IS pregnant. i talked with her for a bit. it felt weird. like i was talkative, but saying stupid stuff about how i was leaving arcata and i didn't know what i was going to do with my life now that davis didn't accept me. she basicly wanted to know if i was moving out or what, but i was so lonely and depressed. if she had any sense, she would have picked up on it, but she is probably just another selfish human who doesn't give a damn about anyone who isn't part of her life-clique.

ah well.

im having a tentrum-tantrum in my mind. i'm destroying everything around me, slashing my art, killing my plants, smashing all the windows.

why do i get this way? why am i so enragged? what can i do about it? i wish i could talk to someone. i wish i had a friend. i feel so desperate. i feel so friend-less. i feel so alone.