There certainly are pros and cons in steering my life to be more internet based. Probably some of the cons are somewhat obvious by now (less time "irl", loss of "rl" friends, incresed feelings of depression or loneliness, etc.) but I would like to focus on some of the more positive aspects. In particular, my insecurity with writing...
As I sit here and drink my luke warm expresso and eat my yogurt and granola ("very California" a internet friend would say), I reflect as far back as to elementary school. I loved to read, and read avidly from about grades 1 to 6th (for some reason I slowed down about puperty), flying through the entire lives of Ramona, Laura Ingles Wilder, and other fictional friends in just weeks. But I hated to write! I was so insecure about how I was supposed to place words on a piece of paper. I was a horrible speller, I didn't really understand how all the grammer stuff we did in class related to how to use words in life, and I had no idea even how to generally format an essay. I had heard of the introduction, body, conclusion thing but ws I missing something? Were there other tricks we were supposed to use?
That was a big fear. That I was missing some trick that everybody else did. I just knew that if someone got ahold of my paper, they would laugh to themself and their friends about that trick that I didn't do. Or maybe the teacher would take it home to her family, read it and they'd all have a good laugh around the dinner table at my expense. The worst was if by chance the teacher read my paper in class. Then all my classmates would be silently laughing to themselves about that thing I didn't do. ANd even if she didnt say whose paper she was reading, they'd all know it was me because I was the only person in the class who didn't do that thing.
Fast forward to college and I still have the writing insecurity. I even wrote a paper about it in a stress management class but that was before I had gotten so far into internet life. After a few years of irc and now this whole bloggige thing, I think I am becoming for comfortable with words, and in particular with my words down on paper. I have come to understand what my level of ability is and what I can expect from myself, and most importantly, I think I have come to realize that while I may be no Gabriel Marquez, I can generally express myself with words suffiently and and most importantly, not feel embarased about doing so. (tho now that im aware that im writing about writing, i feel i should be more aware about my writing and fix all these convoluted sentences, but i think i'll just leave it running on and perhaps confusing cause i should really give you the reader something more to think about than just my annoying thoughts and i know you like puzzles so you can try to figure out what i realy mean and think of it as a game of sorts so there. )
As I sit here and drink my luke warm expresso and eat my yogurt and granola ("very California" a internet friend would say), I reflect as far back as to elementary school. I loved to read, and read avidly from about grades 1 to 6th (for some reason I slowed down about puperty), flying through the entire lives of Ramona, Laura Ingles Wilder, and other fictional friends in just weeks. But I hated to write! I was so insecure about how I was supposed to place words on a piece of paper. I was a horrible speller, I didn't really understand how all the grammer stuff we did in class related to how to use words in life, and I had no idea even how to generally format an essay. I had heard of the introduction, body, conclusion thing but ws I missing something? Were there other tricks we were supposed to use?
That was a big fear. That I was missing some trick that everybody else did. I just knew that if someone got ahold of my paper, they would laugh to themself and their friends about that trick that I didn't do. Or maybe the teacher would take it home to her family, read it and they'd all have a good laugh around the dinner table at my expense. The worst was if by chance the teacher read my paper in class. Then all my classmates would be silently laughing to themselves about that thing I didn't do. ANd even if she didnt say whose paper she was reading, they'd all know it was me because I was the only person in the class who didn't do that thing.
Fast forward to college and I still have the writing insecurity. I even wrote a paper about it in a stress management class but that was before I had gotten so far into internet life. After a few years of irc and now this whole bloggige thing, I think I am becoming for comfortable with words, and in particular with my words down on paper. I have come to understand what my level of ability is and what I can expect from myself, and most importantly, I think I have come to realize that while I may be no Gabriel Marquez, I can generally express myself with words suffiently and and most importantly, not feel embarased about doing so. (tho now that im aware that im writing about writing, i feel i should be more aware about my writing and fix all these convoluted sentences, but i think i'll just leave it running on and perhaps confusing cause i should really give you the reader something more to think about than just my annoying thoughts and i know you like puzzles so you can try to figure out what i realy mean and think of it as a game of sorts so there. )
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home