Its 3:29am and I just woke up. I think it was too warm in my bedroom.

I spent some time with qigong last night. We drank some beer and then did our own thing: He entertained himself (heh. not that) while I caught up with a friend on irc. This situation was fine for me, but I suppose I was neglecting Q. in some way (or maybe thats how i'd feel if I were him, but he didnt actually feel that way). He didn't make a remark though, so im not going to worry about it.

I find myself questioning how I come across on my blog. Untill now, I've put more weight on being spontanious and real than on presentation and readability. I don't spell check, review my grammer, or even really think too much about what I'm going to say untill it falls from my fingertips. I want to be free to feel, be, and act however I am, and in particular, be okay with my imperfections infront of a group of people. I want to be okay with me.

But maybe I'm taking this too far. Maybe I'm developing habbits that aren't so good. While it is very important for me to accept myself, I think it is also important for me to refine myself. It would be nice if my spontanious self was a refined one.

I remember when I fist started chatting on irc. I was extremely concerned about how I presented myself. I was in particular highly conscious of my inability to type or spell well. Every sentence was written with care and concern, and thoughts were thunk over several times to verify the non-stupidity of them.

Hm. I'm lazy though. I'm not going to change yet, Or should I. Should I push myself into a being that would be considered more refined or should I just explore who I am and what I am? I'm opting for the latter at this moment, since it's rather late/early and im sleepy. Oh gosh be golly good, there I go making excuses for my laziness.